Still figuring out...

how to cram it all in.

So. There are a million thoughts I want to get down on paper.

The first is that I managed to squeeze out another vignette before my meeting with my writing mentor. It was a FAR worse vignette than the one I wrote during the break. I had to write it at 6 AM before my other jobs (as mom, wife, cook, cleaner, planner, shopper etc. etc.) started. But, it got written.

Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good right? (In this case don’t let done be the enemy of good).

The contrast between what I’m capable of producing when I have room to breathe versus when I am trying to bang something out at 6 AM is stark. It was on full display between these two vignettes and my writing mentor saw this. I am still learning what I need in order to do good creative work.

It took me damn near ten years of fighting the fact that I have to have a day job to accept that my professional work grounds me. And without that grounding, my writing wouldn’t actually happen. It’s a constant push and pull. A constant balance between grabbing the mental and physical space I need to write, and the load of my daily life.

This week Kate McKean posted a Substack piece called “Being a Full-Time Writer is the Worst Job” and boy did it resonate with me. For perhaps the first time in this journey I am feeling grateful that I am NOT a full time writer. So much of birthing a book is a huge amount of work that is NOT writing. At least my professional career sets me free from having my income depend on getting the vast amount of the non-writing parts correct. It is hard enough to just put pen to paper in a consistent manner.

I told my writing mentor that it is near impossible for me to get the kind of breathing room I need to produce the kind of work that I know I am capable of. This much is clear. My sessions with her have been so so great because it forces me to show up with a completed vignette. It forces me to write, where otherwise my ordinary life would wipe away that time. I am constrained to 6AMs before the day starts. Yes, and… that is ok. The point is just to write. And to find my way back to a consistent writing practice. Done is better than none - the goal is just to get to done.

Starting next week we are going to tweak our morning routine a bit for me to try to squeeze out an hour in the morning to write. It’s now a full family effort in order for me to be able to do this and that certainly ups the stakes even more. I am hopeful that I can make the new routine stick.