This week I made painstaking progress on my Book People piece. It was pretty much a couple of sentences a day, a little bit at a time. Sort of like how I am squeezing toothpaste out of a dry tube.
The point though, is that I am doing it.
Being a writer is weird. Writing is both the thing that drives me yet tortures me to death. It haunts me when I don’t write but when I give myself infinite time to write I just want to procrastinate.
I do not know why I write what I do. I couldn’t tell you where the drive and motivation comes from, or why I choose to write what I do. I have no idea why Drawing legal comics makes me feel good. What I do know is that I am compelled to do it because the universe calls me to this. For so long I have run away from it because it is hard and difficult and I am terrified of being a complete failure. But life is too short to be terrified and I must just answer the call.
I do not know where any of this will lead but I am hopeful that it is somewhere good. I can quietly pursue my dreams and aspire to being more while at the same time working on detaching myself from the outcome because that’s not within my control. I enjoy and make the most of every moment I can take to spend my days writing, even it is mostly procrastinating because it’s a privilege just to be able to to do this.
I am grateful to the universe for giving me the space and time to make steady progress, even if I can only get a couple words or sentences a day. I am building my cathedral one stone at a time. I trust one day I will eventually have a church.