So last week I spent a lot of time hacking away at my post about Mrs. Douziech. Instead of just boring recollection, I was trying to shape it into a “sudden”/ “flash” nonfiction story (is this even a thing?). I think I did a decent job. I would give myself a letter grade of B on the story.
Writing more “story” posts like the one I did last week is important because they force me to get into the habit of writing things for the sake of writing. It’s also my way of practicing. Sort of like how piano players must play arpeggios and singers must warm up with vocal scales. Writers have to write shit and put it out into the world. A lot of what’s put out is going to be pretty mediocre but putting it out is the point. If I don’t put the writing out, I’ll just have spools of digital paper with millions of words on. Ultimately this would amount to nothing but an overflowing electronic recycle bin because they would be nothing more than journal entries.
In order to avoid this, I took the step of putting out the story and I was proud of that.
Then, of course, I encountered my first reader. My dear happy buddha husband. I actually read it to him and his reaction to it made me realize that I desperately need an editor. Someone who will give me feedback on my work before it gets sent out. It’s not that he reacted badly, he actually said it was pretty good. But it was also a very mediocre reaction. Like yes, you wrote something… and it was fine.
Which is not bad.
It’s just not enough for me.
I don’t want to just write something that is fine, I want to write something that is compelling.
I am sure a lot of writers and artists foist the duty of being their first critic / reader on their partners but it can’t be helped. He’s just right there! Lucky for me, he happens to have quite some opinions on story-telling. I asked him where he learned to have so many great tips about story-arcs. He said YouTube. Turns out those videos he watches of movie critiques allowed him to subconsciously absorbed a lot of knowledge about how to tell a good story.
In our discussions, he said that my Mrs. Douziech story could use some tweaks including introducing the tension between me and Clarice more. Also, spending more time on talking about how Mrs. Douziech chose me despite my grade 11 “wandering in the desert” year would add to the story. Finally, he reminded me that I don’t have to limit myself on the length of the story. We’re all so obsessed with short-ness now but that shouldn’t be a goal in and of itself if it will take away from the story. I can take my time telling they story if the story is a good one.
I found these tips to be so stellar and will try to take another run at my Mrs. Douziech story in another post.
On the point of editing: this is another truism that I am learning. I love to think that I can just make art by myself in a dark room and not have to work with anyone else. But in truth good art perhaps can rarely be made alone. We all need feedback so that we can improve.
I used to be horrible with taking editorial feedback. Quite frankly I probably still am horrible with it. I would get highly defensive and upset that anyone would say anything about my art. But I have grown a little to at least be able to accept it without feeling offended. I am not my art or my writing. Criticism of what I made is not the same as criticizing me as a person. The separation of the two is very key to my artistic growth and centering. It is also very important for my ability to sustain this profession. I actually think I desperately need an editor. Without another set of eyes on what I make, how will I know if it’s any good? Never you mind that writing in general needs a lot of time/effort to polish. Editorial feedback is like Buckley’s. “It tastes awful, but it works.”
In sum, for now, I will have to just accept feedback from whomever I can get to read my work while I continue to manifest a writing career big enough to warrant a professional editor.
One day I will meet this person and when I do, I will be able to look back and say look at the progress I’ve made!