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Sometimes, there are just big gaps.
I’ve been told that not opening a gift infront of the giver is rude in Western culture. But in Eastern culture - or at least my understanding of it - it’s actually rude to open the gift infront of the giver. I hate having to open the gift infront of the giver - it’s not enough time for me to process the gift!
Even this minor difference in culture feels huge because it’s really just the tip of the iceberg.
This week I was reminded of how tiring it is to try to function with two cultural identities that are diametrically opposed to each other when my cousin asked me for “help”.
In my assessment, I couldn’t really do much to help because of so many practical factors: I’m not a family lawyer, I’m not barred in that jurisdiction, I don’t know the details of the situation etc. etc.
Yet because I was “asked” and because I couldn’t really offer anything of use, I’m very likely being written off as unhelpful. A bad mark on my standing in the family.
This leads me to a jumble of thoughts on cultural gaps, misunderstandings and knowing what you need.
Even knowing how to ask or what to ask for help with, is an art that must be studied - and then culturally translated. And even then one has to accept that there’s going to be a lot of loss in the conversion. There are so many layers to navigate through and so much self discovery in the process.
One has to know what one needs in order to be able to communicate clearly to someone else so that someone else can help you. Without the first piece of the puzzle, we’re all just a jumble of hurt feelings.
I realize that this stream of consciousness post came from nowhere and went nowhere. Sometimes that’s just how it goes. I’m still processing…